day 6

today is thursday. thursday is my least favourite day of the week.

about six months ago i was talking to my mother about babies and how i would like to buy own or atleast loan one for a while. sort of like rent-a-child. i'm not sure how it would work, i'm not even sure if it's legal or whether it exists for that matter.. i guess it would be a little like babysitting for an extended period of time. anyway.. my mother told me that i should start small and buy a plant. if that plant survives, i should buy a puppy. if that puppy survives, i should buy a house. if that house stays clean, then i should consider having a child (p.s, mum - never said i wanted to have one.. eww?).

logical, right? i mean, i get a plant, a puppy and a house out of this whole baby thing. seems like a pretty sweet deal. so i started thinking about how i was going to do it all.

mother dear never said how long each thing had to survive/stay clean for - so i'm just going to go ahead and put a three month minimum on each. sounds fairly resonable to me. i mean, in all honesty, how long can an actual plant survive for? like six months? 12 tops? and how long does a puppy stay a puppy for? pfft, not even eight months? and finally - she doesn't really expect me to keep my house clean, she just threw that one in for funsies! i know how she works.. she's pretty tricky sometimes.

now that i had the time limit sorted, i started thinking of ways i could do all three things without actually doing them. i'm nearly onto stage two, the puppy. where did stage one go, you ask? well, you see, i bought my boyfriend some herbs about eight weeks ago. some coriander, some oregano and some basil. he planted them and they have flourished. abosultely brilliant. they have been alive for as i mentioned, eight weeks.. only another four to go until it gets to my minimum mark of three months. so what if they live at my boyfriend's house, so what if he's watered them and whatever else you need to do to keep plants alive these days, keywords of this whole paragraph are : "...you see, i bought my boyfriend some herbs..."! my money, my herbs. herbs = plants. win for jaye.

now all i need is for someone to let me buy food for their dog for three months and for someone to lend (give) me $500,000.00 to buy a house. house will probably only cost $450,000.00 but i'll need an extra $50,000.00 to pay for the maid to keep it clean for the first three months..

then.. there i am - baby ready. this is going to be so awesome.

xx